Diagnosis: I was right, but being wrong might have been okay

Today was the appointment we have been waiting on for our Big Boy since last school year. We have a diagnosis, and it is similar to what I expected… While I do feel justified and my initial reaction was one of, “BAM! I knew I was right!” My next immediate thought was oh, crap… I was right…

Kind of.

My child does *not* have adhd. Which is what I tried to tell last year’s teacher, and Sunday School teacher, and a lot of other people not familiar with adoption and trauma. It was all I could do to not jump over the table and hug them and give a big “THANK YOU! I KNEW IT!” But I’m actually pretty shy and wouldn’t even ask for a restroom break, sooooo…

I haven’t had time to process all the information we were given, so I’m sure there will be more to come, and equally sure I am not exactly coherent right now.

So what is the diagnosis?

Unspecified Trauma and Stressor Related Disorder, which is a fancy way to say his behaviors that sent us searching for answers are related to the trauma and stress  he experienced prior to life with us. Which is exactly what I have tried to tell countless people, but what does a kid’s mama with “just” a bachelor’s degree in psychology know?

So why doesn’t it feel better to be right? Well, maybe it would actually be nice to have a diagnosis that could be mostly controlled with swallowing a pill. There’s no magic pill for trauma and stress. Sure we could pump him full of anti-anxiety meds, but if he is able to function and we can continue working towards building a trauma-free, minimum-stress, stable, loving environment, why would we?  So, relief that we don’t need to give him stimulants and possibly exacerbate the nervousness we already see, but boo for no magic pill, no magic wand to wave and erase past trauma and stress.

But very good that he is progressing and settling and no medications were suggested.

So that was our psych diagnosis. But wait! There’s more! For the medical side, it is suggested we go for some genetic testing. The child can bend his index finger (and pinky, we learned today) all the way back to touch his wrist. He was diagnosed with hypermobility today, and it was recommended to have some testing done to rule out a genetic diagnosis for which that could be a symptom. I haven’t had a chance to consult with Dr. Google just yet. 😃 And also, he might need to have his iron stores checked, to see how his body stores iron. Re: restless sleep and sometimes difficult to wake.

It’s a relief to just have it done, to get some answers. I’m sad that we can’t just FIX it, already, but I’m glad we don’t have to weigh the benefits\risks of stimulants. Give me a day or two, and I will be ready to tackle everything and march forward.

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One thought on “Diagnosis: I was right, but being wrong might have been okay

  1. That’s interesting. I’ve never heard of that diagnosis. PTSD is a common one with our kiddos. Now I’ll have to check that out in the DSM-V. I’m also a mama with a psychology degree. I found that the most important thing was knowing my kids better than anyone. I call that “mom power!”

    Liked by 1 person

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